Solids

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I’m not going to lie. I obviously used that picture as a cheap attempt to get you to click on the link. That’s fine. You can call me a fraud. It worked.

Despite what you may expect however, the photo is actually relevant to the following post. Despite that, I can’t say I won’t employ this tactic in the future. Stay tuned.

Anyway, its no secret that I am known to have a “set of girls” that fluctuate in size. [The basis of one of my autobiographies; Taylor Braun. My Life From A-D] I’m not talking about the typical type of minor fluctuations associated with the premenstrual plumping, or the subtle change stemming from a weight loss or gain. These are extreme and drastic changes that occur for seemingly no reason at all. In fact, reason number 3 in TJB TAKES CALI reads: Because your breasts fluctuate daily. (I’m glad that is one of the top 5 reasons that you’re going to miss me. Happy to bring so much to the table)

Anyway, as you would imagine, this is something that has caused me problems over the years. In addition to the obvious hindrances, such as having to finance a Victoria’s Secret sized collection of brassieres; the instability of my fair ladies has posed other issues as well.

Urban Dictionary defines the word “tits” as.

  1. Women’s secret source of power over men. Having the right tits often results in social and economic gain
  2. Women’s breasts
  3. Proof of the existence of god

Now I’m no analyst, but you can imagine the stress I’m faced with, as I realize both my financial and religious prosperity are dependent on such volatile objects.

I won’t even begin to get into the complications of meeting a guy who’s expecting a sweet meat rack, and ends up with the dubbed “president of the itty bitty titty committee”

When a girl is plagued with a flat chest, or say, saggy titties…they get accustomed to all the derogatory terms that are associated with their particular class. I, on the other hand, have had to become familiar with a much larger group of terms. Here is the formal breakdown as per Urban Dictionary.

A CUP: The breast cup size which is of measurement A. Girls may be made fun of being “flat-chested” but actually they are the best-looking tits. Perfectly fits in your hands and very cute when you cum on them. (I’ll speak to this in “Girl With the Pearl Necklace”)

B CUP: The bra size where the breast is finally slightly larger than the nipple by itself
[Surprisingly also a lot of definitions pertaining to a national soccer team]

C CUP: An average to larger than average cup size. Rarely accompanied by slim body, unless implants of a small C cup.

D CUP: The size of breasts bordering on unattractively large. Usually not as easy to grope as smaller breast sizes.

There is a wide array of phrases used to define the spectrum from mosquito bites to gallon jugs.  And for that, you are free to spend the rest of your day perusing the inter-web.  This is all for now. Please refer back to the next edition, as I continue to divulge some more “tayls” from A to D. If you liked “solids”, you’ll love “stripes”

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