Here is an excerpt from my Indiegogo campaign found here:
Hey guys! My name is Taylor, and I was born with a condition called Facefit4radio. It was diagnosed at an early age, however, so I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with it.
Having facefit4radio is not as debilitating as one would think. While, of course, it did pose some disadvantages, it also helped to establish a solid perception of the reality in which we live.
For example, it was well known that I would never be able to create a living as a model or feature film actress, or be propelled into stardom after the release of a sex tape. (I have confirmation on the latter)
Instead, I went to school and managed to get a marketing degree from a decent University. This, along with my average GPA, secured me a mediocre job in the big apple.
However after getting burned from the rise and grind of corporate america, I knew it was time to make a change. So, i took the plunge and rewarded my year(s) of hard work and diligent pursuits and entered the glorious age of retirement; Retired at 23
Since graduation, my parents were quick to cut financial ties. Other than the occasional meal, or some petty cash. I have been supporting myself entirely from my savings with the help of my dividend reinvestment plan in MCD stock. Thank you Ronald!
Oh, I should mention, they do pay for my phone bill. I’ve declared that the one item that I plan to expense to them for the rest of my life…should they ever desire to speak to me. Funny thing, they don’t call. .
So yeah, that’s my spiel. I’m a strong – black – independent – woman, who is caucasian, and I’m asking for your help to make sure it stays that way.
What We Need & What You Get
As you can see, I am asking for a mere 50000 dollars, which is comparable to my old salary. In reality it should be more, because I’m relatively certain they were going to present me a pretty large counter offer had I not been adamant in my intentions to spread my wings to the city of angels.
The funds will go directly towards ensuring that I am able to continue developing Facefit4Radio, and that I am not reverted back to working for the man, or worse, back to living in my parents basement.That’s not even an option as of now courtesy of Superstorm Sandy.
What’s that you say? How about my old room? Yeah. No shot. My mom started moving her things in the second I was out the door freshman year. Even if I was home for a weekend or for the holidays, I was most often relegated to the guest room so as to not mess up her stuff.
As always, I maintain full disclosure about my projects. You can read about anything and everything at www.FaceFit4radio.wordpress.com for more details about what they are.
What you get?
Hasn’t anyone ever told you its not a good deed if you expect something in return. Yeah, they’re assholes. I agree. Pending I have anything you deem of value…I will offer a wide slew of incentives and perks including but not limited to, selfies, snapchats, and tit pics.
Did you know that my grandma says I look like Ashley Olsen (but not Mary Kate)? WILD!
Were you aware that my breasts fluctuate at random, and I’m currently busting out the seams of my bra, when just last week I was swimming in it? ABSURD!
How about the fact that my parents gave me a buzz cut in kindergarten, rendering me an unambiguously gendered child, not only by name but sight? TELL ME MORE!
Your donation will ensure that these tales (or Tayls) as I like to call it will continue to be shared with the world. I’m confident that millions of people will find solace in my stories and at the least comfort in the fact that it didn’t happen to them.
This may be my first campaign but I’ve been to the rodeo if you know what I’m saying. I’m not a mechanic, but I can drive a stick. I’m not Irish but I’ve had Irish in me… No really, I love horses, I learned to drive on a manual car, and I lost my virginity to a kid who was Irish.
I’m no accountant, but i know i can COUNT on you to help make my dreams come true.
Other Ways You Can Help
Some people just can’t contribute, but that doesn’t mean they can’t help:
Actually that does mean you can’t help. By very definition of the campaign, you are absolutely useless to me. And just so you know I’ve tracked this, so I will be well aware of anyone who comes to the site and neglects to contribute. That goes for you Dad.
And to the other family members who contemplate helping to fund my tv/comedy/film writing career…Of course as you may imagine contributing will override the necessity of buying me a gift for my birthday or any of the holidays. You’re wrong.
I guess if you’re really poor I’d appreciate you checking out the site:firstname.lastname@example.org. You clearly have a computer, so the least you could do is send this to your friends with money.
And that’s all there is to it.