Poor girl. Did nothing to deserve it. But my friend from high school mentioned a comedienne that he was aware of courtesy of their alma mater, and I took it upon myself to send her this….
Dear Megan.. This is not spam, although I do realize by typing that into the subject line you are more likely to think that it is, catch 22
Dear Megan Amram,
Okay so full disclosure. I’ve only known about your for about 20 minutes. Well technically, you were mentioned to me in an email from a fellow Harvard Alum of yours yesterday but I didn’t google you until about 20, well now 21 minutes ago.
I really don’t know why I’m writing to you, but I’m going to try to just type and not over analyze every sentence, even though I’ve written parts of this letter in my head already while pacing through my apartment.
To tell you a little bit about myself, my name is Taylor. That is usually more information than I give as everything I’ve ever tried to write is based primarily on the fact that I’m trying to keep my identity a secret. And as a result, I have plenty of twitter handles, blogspots, and even facebook pages, all maxing out at around 3 posts
Above, find my ode to senior year insomnia. There’s also compilations of embarrassing stories (both sexual and in general) that have happened to a dear “friend” of mine…
I don’t know what it is. I associate it ultimately with a fear of anticipated rejection, but I haven’t been able to take that final leap and try the writing thing.
Instead, I’ve now moved from NY to California on a whim, and spent the last 2 weeks sitting in my bedroom, dreaming up these “amazing” ideas, movie script/tv show/documentary etc., and essentially doing nothing with them. These delusions are quite intricate. Many even go as far as to involve Judd Apatow, coincidentally my first celebrity sighting here in LA. I took it as a sign that I was destined for stardom.
Turns out, I saw the same exact man in the “bagel” place 2 days later. Sorry for the quotes on bagel, but seeing as you’re familiar with New York… I hope you’ll agree that the focaccia bread posing as an everything bagel at Sam’s is just that, a poser. Turns out my attempt to conquer Runyon Canyon had left me in a bit of a delirious state and my Judd was just a figment of the imagination, a mirage so to speak…which is incredibly sad, especially considering that I only made it as far as to contribute my dollar into the honor system vending machine, pick up my water and about face back towards my apartment.
Everyone gives me credit for coming to LA with no job, and just winging it… but I realize that I’m about to continue on the path of mediocrity that I’ve been blessed/cursed with as a Jew from Long Island. And that fear may be the biggest one of all…
Anyway, I don’t know where I’m going with this. But judging from your tweets and a quick internet scan of your background, it seems like we may have similar ideas in relation to comedy? Let’s write a show.
If not, don’t worry. I’ve gained 7 lbs in Halloween candy, conveniently have another diet starting tomorrow, and am also battling a new bout of hemorrhoids. So that will be sure to keep me busy for the next couple of weeks.
FULL DISCLOSURE, I initially spelled bout as bought.. but I wanted to preserve my grammatical integrity.
If you don’t know who Megan is, as is the case with me when I first harassed her via social media…she is a comedian and currently writes for Parks and Rec… Check out her video link below and/or follow her on twitter